You put WHAT in my chocolate cake?

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You want the best cake. The moistest cake. The healthiest cake.
I get that. I really do.

Bring out the chocolate flavor with a dash of espresso powder? Sure. I can handle that.

How about adding a dollop of sour cream? Maybe.

Make it moister with mayonnaise?

That’s where things cross the line for me. Some things just don’t belong in chocolate cake. My rule of thumb, if it goes on a sandwich, leave it out of my dessert.

Now, I’m not totally closed-minded. Let’s say you’d like dessert, but you don’t want all the calories that come with it. That’s understandable. In fact, I find some of the early hacks acceptable, substituting fats with fruits, such as, apple sauce, bananas, or pumpkin.

But, the latest trends have me holding my stomach.
Avocado, zucchini, kale, and the one that pains me to type in the same sentence as chocolate…black beans. Black beans, you guys.

If you are one that eats like this, I’m not putting you down. In fact, I applaud you and your super powers.

Call me stubborn, or call me a purist (I prefer the latter), but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s not the fact that I don’t like vegetables. I’d just prefer to keep them out of my dessert. (Back to my sandwich rule).

Am I alone on this one? I’d love to hear your opinions!

Confessions of a Chocoholic- at Work

20

If you’re anything like me, eating healthy can be a challenge. In this world, it seems like there are tasty morsels around every corner. 

 

Tempting us. 

Taunting us. 

And ready to lure us in.

 

You can’t turn on the television, drive down the road, read a magazine, or even go to work, without the temptation of delicious, not-so-nutritious foods, threatening your diet.    

And when chocolate is involved, all bets are off. 

 

But, not today. Today I’ve got things under control. I’m like a junk food ninja. Bring on the snacks, the baked goods, and those chocolate covered goodies.

 

Today is the day

 

Today, I’m going to eat healthier.

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Twenty minutes into work, and all I’ve had is coffee and a piece of chewing gum. I’m unstoppable.

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Unstoppable…Until I leave my desk. Traps everywhere.

 

Doughnuts in the break room. Maybe just one…

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Minor set back.  I got this.

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Secretary’s desk houses jars of candy. I’ll take one for the team.

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Strategically placed vending machine en route to restrooms. 

Baited, hooked…and sunk.

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A co-worker is celebrating with birthday cake.  Maybe I’ll have just a thin slice.

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The office manager baked muffins. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

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The boss is selling cookies for his daughter. I need to be supportive.

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Retirement Party.  Bring on the cake.

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I’ve already blown today. I should probably go clean up the doughnuts in the break room.

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Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will eat healthier.

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Confessions of a Chocoholic-at the Movies

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Chocoholics have every day struggles. Believe it or not, even a simple trip to the movie theater can have its challenges.

 

 

 

 

 

You spend your paycheck at concession counter.

 

You find a comfortable seat, but need to get your snacks organized.

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During the previews, you politely nibble on your popcorn, and wait patiently to dig into your candy stash.

 

Once the lights go out, you go for it. Only you can’t get the package open.

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And every little sound of the wrapper echoes through the theater.

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You get the dreaded shush.

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Is he talking to me?

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You finally settle in and start enjoying yourself.

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And your favorite part comes on.

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And then the unthinkable happens. What you think is a Goober, turns out to be a Raisinet.

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You need to wash it down. Quick.

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Only now you have to go. Bad.

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You take a detour by the concession stand and return to your seat, with a new box of chocolate, and enjoy..until the movies over…and the lights come on. And you’re busted.

 

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13 Stages of a Chocoholic’s Diet

11

Acceptance.

Perhaps I’ve been eating a tad too much.

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Procrastination.

I’m starting my diet… right after I finish these chocolate chip cookies. ( I wouldn’t want to be tempted by them later.)

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False Confidence.

Diet? I got this. It will be fun.

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Concern.

This diet is doing weird, horrible things to my stomach.

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Denial.

When everyone else is eating chocolate cake- “I don’t even want chocolate cake.”

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Pain.

A “friend” suggests replacing your chocolate with raw vegetables.

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Anger.

Diets are stupid. Carbs are stupid.  Trans fats are stupid.

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Reflection.

Chocolate, we had some good times together. I miss you Ben. I miss you, Jerry.

31 GIFs That Perfectly Express Your Feelings About Food

Sadness.

I just feel so empty and alone.

Justin Long

Depression.

Without chocolate, there is no happiness.

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Delirium.  

Hunger pains trigger food fantasies.

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Negotiation.

I’ll just have a taste.

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Acceptance.

Chocolate is happiness.

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The Day After

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Every chocoholic knows that the best day to buy chocolate is the day after Valentine’s Day. But, here’s some advice. Don’t fill your cart with empty calories of chocolate flavored wax. This is the time to splurge. Go for the good stuff. The name brand. The organic. The imported. The glitzy packages of goodness you’ve always wanted to try. Treat yourself…and February 15th will become your new favorite holiday.