You put WHAT in my chocolate cake?

5

You want the best cake. The moistest cake. The healthiest cake.
I get that. I really do.

Bring out the chocolate flavor with a dash of espresso powder? Sure. I can handle that.

How about adding a dollop of sour cream? Maybe.

Make it moister with mayonnaise?

That’s where things cross the line for me. Some things just don’t belong in chocolate cake. My rule of thumb, if it goes on a sandwich, leave it out of my dessert.

Now, I’m not totally closed-minded. Let’s say you’d like dessert, but you don’t want all the calories that come with it. That’s understandable. In fact, I find some of the early hacks acceptable, substituting fats with fruits, such as, apple sauce, bananas, or pumpkin.

But, the latest trends have me holding my stomach.
Avocado, zucchini, kale, and the one that pains me to type in the same sentence as chocolate…black beans. Black beans, you guys.

If you are one that eats like this, I’m not putting you down. In fact, I applaud you and your super powers.

Call me stubborn, or call me a purist (I prefer the latter), but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s not the fact that I don’t like vegetables. I’d just prefer to keep them out of my dessert. (Back to my sandwich rule).

Am I alone on this one? I’d love to hear your opinions!

13 Stages of a Chocoholic’s Diet

11

Acceptance.

Perhaps I’ve been eating a tad too much.

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Procrastination.

I’m starting my diet… right after I finish these chocolate chip cookies. ( I wouldn’t want to be tempted by them later.)

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False Confidence.

Diet? I got this. It will be fun.

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Concern.

This diet is doing weird, horrible things to my stomach.

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Denial.

When everyone else is eating chocolate cake- “I don’t even want chocolate cake.”

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Pain.

A “friend” suggests replacing your chocolate with raw vegetables.

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Anger.

Diets are stupid. Carbs are stupid.  Trans fats are stupid.

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Reflection.

Chocolate, we had some good times together. I miss you Ben. I miss you, Jerry.

31 GIFs That Perfectly Express Your Feelings About Food

Sadness.

I just feel so empty and alone.

Justin Long

Depression.

Without chocolate, there is no happiness.

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Delirium.  

Hunger pains trigger food fantasies.

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Negotiation.

I’ll just have a taste.

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Acceptance.

Chocolate is happiness.

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